My Forumates

Say hello...

Nat — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 16:10:53 GMT

we don't bite

put a fork in it it's done!!!

tithead — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 22:40:30 GMT

the site that is

40 is looooooooming!!!

Kat — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 20:09:28 GMT

Well its almost here folks... Kat turns 40 on Monday!

Some fecker cheer me up!!!!!!

Gold diggers

Lau — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 00:58:24 GMT

There are 2 men who work as gold miners in a large mine in northern

Canada, after years of working together they become best mates. One day

while working there is a large mine collapse and one of the miners gets

his leg trapped under the cave in. After several hours they're rescued.

Unfortunately the trapped miner had to have his leg amputated.......

So after a few months recovering the two mates are sitting having a

beer, as you can imagine the amputee is quite distraught. After ...

They must be from south London

Lau — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 13:41:41 GMT

From a joke site, but not really a joke.

http://www.free-jokes.info/pictures/kids-and-guns-26.html

The judicinal system is so wrong!!!!

Isaac Hunt — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 17:13:45 GMT

I havent seen my daughter now since the start of december, I have been to court twice now & still 'no-show'.

The last hearing said she could be arrested for not attending but the excuse my daughter was ill (to which I had no knowledge!?) seemed a sufficient excuse!? Now I await yet again for the next hearing.

The months just pass by, how long before the law do something? How long must I wait? 6 Months? A year? Already, the damage is done & its my job to do my best to rectify it.

I ...

Do I hate men????

ellie — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 13:33:42 GMT

I am feeling really bitter towards all males at the moment, please put some trust back in me!!!!!

A new site for commitment phobics

dozybugger — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 16:02:09 GMT

You don't want to upset these ladies, now do you

[size=9]

http://www.conjugalharmony.com/

Click on the link and bowse the members [/size]

Bigfoot on Mars

Lau — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 21:19:05 GMT

It has been confirmed. NASA has released the latest picture.

How To Give A Cat A Pill

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 14:19:43 GMT

How To Give A Cat A Pill

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take ...

Unlawful Arrest...or not?

Isaac Hunt — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:44:12 GMT

I know some of you will be aware that I have been struggling to get regular access to my daughter, nothing much has changed. I have seen her once in 8 weeks.

It was her 3rd birthday on the 17th of august and i tried desperatly to wish her happy birthday on the phone but my request was denied.

The next day I decided to travel the 12 miles to deliver her a present.

On approaching the ex's house I saw her outside the gate (the ex, my daughter wasnt present)...anyway, she just ran off...I ...

losing my religion.......

Sat, 08 Dec 2007 08:19:08 GMT

schools canceling nativity plays....????? becuase the UK has become such a multi nationality country. and we dont want to offend other religions.....! what a joke..... if muslim parents dont want there children tacking part in a play at school they dont believe in then no problem just withdraw them from the play no harm done..... not withdraw the whole thing....!!

whats that all about...??? were losing everything in this country!!!

soon it will be offensive to order a FULL ENGLISH!!!! ...

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE

Kat — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 22:05:22 GMT

T'was the night before Christmas,

Old Santa was pissed

He cussed out the elves and threw down his list

Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks,

I have good mind to scrap the whole works

I've busted my ass for damn near a year

Instead of "Thanks Santa" what do I hear?

The old lady bitches cause I work late at night

The elves want more money - the reindeer all fight

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids

Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS

And ...

banned for complying to the rules on pof!

dozybugger — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 13:23:02 GMT

You do a good deed like set up a meet night on several ocassions on pof, then get a 3 year ban and barred from hosting/co-hosting and having pictures taken at all meet nights for complying to the rules.

If rules are in place why does a certain moderator on there feel it's his place to make new rules as he goes along? fooking prick!

lmfao @ this

Anonymous — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 23:04:03 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOZVp9NFhQE

The Poo Olympics.

Longshanks — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 19:39:37 GMT

http://mysite.wanadoo-members.co.uk/letspoo/page5.html

Attitudes to "foreigners"

Lau — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 00:01:55 GMT

This thread is basically branching off the thread "war in iraq/afhan". It might become a little heated but I believe that it needs to address certain attitudes and beliefs that some people have.

One thing that needs to be addressed is the confusion between "race", "beliefs" and "nationalism". They are not the same. To think that everyone in an entire country are fundamentalist and suicide bombers, worthy of all of them to be wiped out shows an incredible ...

OVERPAID??

Kat — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 00:37:33 GMT

which professions do you think are overpaid for the service they provide?

for me it has to be the footballers... Can it really be justified to pay a man �100,000 + a week for kicking a football around a pitch?

Who do you think are overpaid and why?

war in iraq/afghan

ellie — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 19:49:37 GMT

Ok peeps im being sensible for a change, whats you views on this, should we pull out? This is close to my heart as my kids dad is in Basra at min, things are not good, Do you think we are kissing the yanks arses!!!!!!!

Dog Poo

Kat — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 12:19:50 GMT

why don't some dog owners pick up after their pets?????

when i had my Rottie, i wouldnt dream of leaving her poop for someone else to step in, or worse for a child to fall over into....

its disgusting . i know there are fines for this sort of thing but if someone walks their dog at night, who is gonna see it?

does this drive u crazy?????????

Russia's new bomb

Anonymous — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 18:23:50 GMT

4 times more powerful than the USA'S nukes

all I have to say is why are nukes not bad enough

Stereotyping

Kat — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 15:20:12 GMT

How much do u think u do it?

I try not to but sometimes u just cant help it!!

For instance, yesterday i was in my office and a girl was approaching, wearing a black tracksuit. it had pink piping, collar, waistband etc and she wasnt't exactly skinny... belly hanging out over the top... dripping in cheap jeweleery and hair scraped back untidily into a ponytail tied with a scrunchie.....

the first thing that came into my head??

Yer but no, but yer, but no, but yer!!

And ...

Shot at Dawn

Nat — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 15:01:37 GMT

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/4798025.stm

What are you views on this, nowadays they would have been treated for PTS disorder and shell shock. One of them was only 16 years old and shouldn;t have even been there except he lied about his age. Some had already fouught through the 2 main battles and couldn't take it any more.

Was it necessary to stop other soldiers desserting and win the war or was it out of order?

Can you imagine the outcry if out troops in Iraq today ...

Cat Talk

Longshanks — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 15:11:23 GMT

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=2073515305

The Twelve Days of Christmas, Redneck Style

Longshanks — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 20:27:44 GMT

On the 12 days of Christmas, my true love gave to me

12 pack of Bud

11 rasslin' tickets

10 tins of Copenhagen

9 years probation

8 table dancers

7 packs of Red Man

6 cans of Spam

5 flannel shirts

4 big mud tires

3 shotgun shells

2 huntin' dawgs

and some parts to a Mustang GT.

Date Rape Drug

Longshanks — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 20:36:53 GMT

Be on the lookout! Police warn all male clubbers, party-goers, and

unsuspecting pub regulars to be alert and stay cautious when offered a

drink from any woman. A date rape drug on the market, called "beer",

is used by females to target unsuspecting men. The drug is found in

liquid form, and is now available almost anywhere. "Beer" is used by

emale sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male

victims to go home and have sex with them. Typically, ...

Charged for riding a bike

Lau — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 16:06:01 GMT

Ok, admittingly he has very unusual sexual inclinations, but should he really be put on a sex offender's register for this?

Is it really much different from using a sex toy? (even though a bike hasn't been designed for this purpose)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm

Funny

Longshanks — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 16:20:58 GMT

The Sultan of Brunei was getting a bit cheesed off as he had 6 children, all girls, and therefore had no son and heir. Imagine his joy then, when one of his wives presented him with his only son and heir.

Just before his son's sixth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side and said, "Son, I am very proud of you. Anything you want, I shall get for you". His son replied, "Daddy, I would like an aeroplane".

Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father bought him ...

This is funny.

Longshanks — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 19:35:32 GMT

http://www.jwolfe.clara.net/Humour/SexObscene.htm

Hampshire Police

Lau — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 11:44:40 GMT

Hampshire police thought it would be a good idea to advertise on the rear of a bus. Their planning did not take into account the position of the exhaust pipe.

The difference between men and women

Kat — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 22:19:53 GMT

WOMEN�S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry = you�ll be sorry

6. We need to talk = you�re in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = you better not

8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You�re very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN�S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice ...

the best comeback line ever???

Kat — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 15:28:47 GMT

This was in the Washington Post... the title of the article was "Best Come Back Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, in a pumpkin patch

11:38 p.m. on Friday night.

On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when ...

welsh rugby

ellie — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 19:12:06 GMT

Teacher to class,-

what does your dad do at weekends?

Johnny says 'he's a dancer in a gay bar and sometimes

if the money's right, he lets punters bang his arse

and come in his mouth'.

Teacher pulling Johnny aside, 'is that true?'

'No miss, truth is he plays rugby for wales but

I was 2 embarrassed to say.

Another Bush joke :)

Nat — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 11:16:53 GMT

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk to the kids to get a little

PR.

After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George Bush asks him his name.

" Stanley ," responds the little boy.

"And what is your question, Stanley ?"

"I have 4 questions" replies Stanley :

First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?

Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?

Third, whatever happened ...

Cats and Dogs

Kat — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 15:39:05 GMT

DOG DIARY8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing! 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the Yard! My favourite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing! 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping ...

this is really funny

Anonymous — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 14:36:35 GMT

anyone think i will get sex before the end of the year with a woman i might add

Hypnotist

Kat — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 14:00:55 GMT

It was entertainment time at the Day Centre for the elderly and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill.

People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced, 'Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.'

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch ...

genuine complaint letter

Kat — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 20:21:55 GMT

u may have seen this but i thought it hilarious!!

TO: MR. JAMES THATCHER - BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE

Dear Mr. Thatcher

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horse riding or

salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to ...

Women 101..

Nat — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 13:46:04 GMT

For all you guys who think we are a complicated bunch :)

Woman as explained by a Physicist:

Woman as explained by an Engineer:

Woman as explained by a mathematician:

Woman as explained by a radio operator:

Woman as explained by a military tactician:

How to Make a Woman Happy

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend

2. a companion

3. a lover

4. a brother

5. a ...

The dot

capt f — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 03:37:43 GMT

For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads.

Most of us have naively thought this was connected with marriage or religion, but the Indian Embassy in Washington , D.C. has recently revealed the true story.

When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union.

On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop or a motel in the United States .

If nothing is there, he ...

euro English

Kat — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 11:58:09 GMT

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil ...

Child Abuser walks free from court

Kat — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 12:44:19 GMT

So, he gets a �100 fine and a community order after pleading guilty to abusing over 14 youngsters, the youngest only 18 months old....

its disgusting. Even his own sister said he was a monster who should have been locked up...

The judge was said to have taken his guilty plea into consideration and the fact he was so remorseful... remorseful for what??? Being caught??

your comments on the judicial system going mad again?

Why?!?!

Anonymous — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 19:24:42 GMT

I don't think I need to say anything...the video will speak for itself...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWow42TCwzg

Boys and cams

Anonymous — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 16:05:46 GMT

Grrrr! What is it with men and cams?!

I was just told that I was rude on MSN Messenger because of my reply to someone asking me to turn on my cam!

He asked me to turn it on and I said, "No, I've just woke up."

He says, "I like natural women."

I say, "I'm not turning it on. I'm not here for your entertainment."

Then the bastard wants to tell me I am rude!! WTF?! I think it's rude to ask me to turn it on!! I don't even know this guy!

I know ...

Athlete Injured In Freak Javelin Accident

British Lion — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 11:04:52 GMT

Dont let any fottball hol's see this!!!!

Yes you Shanks!

http://news.sky.com/skynews/video/videoplayer/0,,31200-1275206,.html

OWNED!!!!

Anonymous — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 00:41:59 GMT

Now the fist thig on here is funny as hell seen that bit over & over again really does make me pmsl but the rest is pretty nasty to watch make up you're own minds

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3426957971368553816&hl=en

strutter

Anonymous — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 19:41:31 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6G4I4JkDkI

Jesus

Anonymous — Sat, 23 Jun 2007 21:59:41 GMT

the musical

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KiAvmzcZbg&mode=related&search=

Ninja Warrior

Anonymous — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 20:45:41 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1anoHXphvas

Human Tetris

Longshanks — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 14:33:45 GMT

http://www.snotr.com/video/26